yonic

I expect you know what ‘phallic’ means. But you’ve probably never heard of ‘yonic’, which is basically the female equivalent* (shakes fist at patriarchy) – an adjective that describes objects or symbols that resemble or represent the female genitalia, particularly the vulva.

‘Yonic’ is derived from a Sanskrit word, ‘yoni’ (योनि), which means ‘womb’, ‘uterus’ or ‘vulva’, as well as ‘source’. In various Eastern religions and spiritual traditions, the yoni is revered as a symbol of divine feminine energy and fertility, and the origin of life. The concept of the yoni is often associated with the goddess Shakti in Hinduism, representing the creative and nurturing aspects of the universe. Yoni and linga (the masculine version) iconography is found in Shiva temples and archaeological sites across the Indian subcontinent and southeast Asia.

The yoni may well be the oldest spiritual icon not just in India but in many ancient cultures. It’s only here in the West that we’ve traditionally treated feminine sexual organs and sexuality as taboo – in Indic religions (i.e. Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism and Sikhism) and other similar ancient cultures, the yoni has long been seen as as a deep philosophical and cosmic truth that represents feminine power and potential. It’s closely linked with the natural cycles of the moon, earth and life itself. Take that, patriarchy.

Roses are often considered a yonic symbol, which seems a bit odd to me as men often give them to women as a romantic gesture. Maybe they should be giving us more phallic flowers. Like the phallus impudicus, for example, AKA the common stinkhorn, a fungus renowned for being shaped like a penis and for having an absolutely horrible smell. Hmmm, maybe this is why I’m single…

*Which presumably gets paid 13% less than her male counterpart.

milquetoast

A milquetoast is a person who’s meek or timid, lacks character or is ineffective. A wimp or a wuss, if you will. I first heard this term in the PS4 game ‘Bloodborne’ where it’s one of the starting classes. If you’re not a gamer then you might not have come across it, although I did also hear it in ‘American Horror Story’ (‘Delicate’, in case you’re wondering) the other day.

Apparently the term is much more common in American English than it is over here. That’s probably because ‘milquetoast’ comes from an American comic strip called ‘The Timid Soul’, which was published in 1924. Created by American cartoonist Harold Tucker (HT) Webster, the comic strip featured a character called Caspar Milquetoast, who was himself named after the American dish milk toast, which is, you’ve guessed it, toasted bread in warm milk. Why America, why?

Webster described Caspar Milquetoast as ‘the man who speaks softly and gets hit with a big stick’. Aw. He’s named after milk toast because it’s light and easy to digest, and good for people with weak stomachs. Caspar was featured in books, films, radio programmes and vaudeville acts, and, according to a 1945 article in ‘Time’ magazine, was as famous as Tom Sawyer, and even more so than Don Quixote. Wow.

HT Webster drew more that 16,000 single panel cartoons in his lifetime. In 1927 a severe case of arthritis meant he could no longer draw with his right hand – so he taught himself to do that with his left, and his career carried on for another 25 years after that. I can’t even paint the nails on my right hand without making a hash of it, so kudos to Mr Webster.

(Credit: H. T. Webster, public domain, via Wikimedia Commons)

slogan

If you hear the word ‘slogan’, you probably think of advertising and Don Draper (or, if you’re a little bit older, of Samantha’s husband Darren in ‘Bewitched’). And you’d be right – the OED defines a ‘slogan’ as ‘a short and striking or memorable phrase used in advertising’. That might make you assume that ‘slogan’ is a fairly modern word. But you would be wrong. Very wrong, in fact…

‘Slogan’ first appeared in writing in the 16th century, but it’s actually much older even than that. Let’s take a little trip to the beautiful Scottish Highlands. ‘Slogan’ comes from a Gaelic term, ‘sluagh-ghairm’, which means ‘battle-cry’ or ‘war-cry’. Scottish Highland clans cried these cries to rally their troops, signal that they were ready to start kicking some ass and to intimidate enemies during battles. Each clan would personalise their battle cries to reflect their identity, heritage and allegiance. I couldn’t find any specific examples of the exact words they used, but historians seem to agree they’d be something along the lines of ‘Die, you English bastards’.

‘Sluagh-ghairm’ was adopted into English as in the 18th century as ‘slogan’. And, as the need for rallying battle cries diminished, it came to represent a memorable phrase used to convey a message.

If all this talk of Scottish battle cries means you’re now thinking of Mel Gibson yelling ‘they’ll never take our freedom!’, then you’d be right. It’s very likely that Scottish warriors at the Battle of Stirling Bridge in 1297 (during the First War of Scottish Independence), led by Mel Gibson, sorry, William Wallace, used sluagh-ghairm battle cries to bolster their spirits and unsettle their English adversaries. They didn’t do it in kilts, however, as these weren’t widely worn until many centuries later. Oh, and there was a bridge at the Battle of Stirling Bridge, even though the creators of ‘Braveheart’ decided not to include it.

nostalgia

I’ve always thought this sounds a bit like a medical condition (oh dear, I’ve got a nasty case of nostalgia) and it turns out, I’m right – although it isn’t anything contagious. As you of course know, nostalgia is a noun (person, place or thing) that describes a sentimental longing or affection for the past.

The word itself hasn’t actually been around for all that long. It was coined by a Swiss physician named Johannes Hofer in the late 17th century (1688, to be specific). He used it to describe a medical condition observed in Swiss mercenaries. These mercenaries were a powerful infantry force made up of professional soldiers who served in foreign armies from the late Middle Ages into the Renaissance. Their proven battlefield capabilities made them sought-after troops-for-hire, especially among the military forces of the kings of France. The Swiss Constitution of 1874 banned the recruitment of Swiss citizens by foreign states, and these days there’s only one Swiss mercenary unit left – the nattily-dressed Swiss Guard at the Vatican.

Despite all this military success, when they were fighting away from home, Swiss mercenaries all got terribly homesick (bless them), pining for their beautiful Swiss landscapes. This was the medical condition that Hofer observed – symptoms were thought to include fainting, high fever and even death. Cases were so serious, and led to so many desertions, illnesses and deaths, that the mercenaries were banned from singing the ‘Kuhreihen’, a melody traditionally played by Swiss alpine herdsman as they drove their cattle to or from pasture, in case it pushed the mercenaries over the figurative edge.

After seeing all this extreme homesickness, Hofer combined two Greek words to describe it: ‘nostos’, meaning ‘homecoming’ (the word ‘nostos’ also refers to a theme used in Ancient Greek literature when an epic hero returns home, usually by sea) and ‘álgos’ meaning ‘pain’.

For many centuries, nostalgia was considered a debilitating and potentially fatal medical condition. But by the 1850s, it began to lose its status as a disease, and this meaning had almost completely vanished by the 1870s (although it was still recognised as such in both the First and Second World Wars, mainly by the American armed forces). Nowadays nostalgia is seen as an emotion rather than a condition – a yearning for the ‘good old days’, even if they actually often weren’t that great.

misanthrope

A misanthrope is a noun (person, place or thing) that describes someone who doesn’t like or trust their fellow humans, and avoids human society. They tend to be cynical and pessimistic, and are often loners. Hmmm, maybe I’m a misanthrope... Anyway, my issues aside, you can also use misanthrope as an adjective (a describing word) – so someone can be ‘misanthropic’.

‘Misanthrope’ has its origins in Greek. It combines two Greek words: ‘misos’, meaning ‘hatred’, and ‘anthropos’, meaning ‘human being’ or ‘person’ (‘anthropos’ is also where we get the word ‘anthropology’ i.e. the study of the cultural, social, biological and evolutionary aspects of human life and behavior). Put them together and ‘misanthrope’ literally means ‘hater of humanity’.

When I asked ChatGPT what ‘anthropos’ meant, it said ‘human being or man’. I called it out for being sexist, and it apologised and corrected it to ‘human being or person’. I then asked it for some examples of misanthropes in fiction. The results were all male, and in books by male authors (Holden Caulfield from ‘The Catcher in the Rye’ by Salinger, Meursault from ‘The Stranger’ by Camus, Scrooge from ‘A Christmas Carol’ by Dickens, Ahab from ‘Moby-Dick’ by Melville and Gregor Samsa from ‘The Metamorphosis’ by Kafka). When I pushed it for some female misanthropes by female authors, I got Miss Jean Brodie from ‘The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie’ by Muriel Spark, Edna Pontellier from ‘The Awakening’ by Kate Chopin and Mildred Montag from ‘Fahrenheit 451’ by Ray Bradbury. The latter is clearly a MAN. I said that and it apologised again and gave me Miss Havisham from ‘Great Expectations’ by well-known female author Charles Dickens. SIGH. It’s a shame that even brand-new technology already has sexism baked in.*

This is why I’m a misanthrope. Also, litter.

* As an experiment, I also asked ChatGPT who the five greatest tennis players of all time are. I got three men and two women, which I’ll let slide as I didn’t give it an even number. It then described Federer as ‘one of the greatest tennis players of all time’ and Williams as ‘one of the greatest female tennis players of all time’. I DESPAIR.