fathom

Fathom has a few meanings, the most well-known of which is probably as a unit of measurement for the depth of water, one fathom being equal to six feet (1.83 metres for my metric friends). ‘Fathom’ also has a figurative meaning which is when you use it to describe understanding or comprehending something – ‘despite her best efforts, she couldn’t fathom what the hell was going on’.

Fathom comes from an Old English word, fæthm, which means ‘outstretched arms’ or ‘embracing arms’. In fact, ‘fathom’ was once used as a verb to mean ‘embrace’ – so you could say you were going to fathom someone if you were going to hug them (although that does sound vaguely threatening). In the 1600s, ‘fathom’ ran away to sea, and the verb came to mean ‘to measure with a sounding line’ – a sounding line being a bit of rope with a weight on the end used to measure the depth of water. The measurements then became known as fathoms, because sailors used their outstretched arms to measure the length of these ropes or cables (which makes much more sense that what I was imagining – lots of sailors trying to measure the depth of water by getting in the sea and stretching their arms out). Eventually this measure was standardised as six feet.

At the same time as all this was happening on the ocean waves, landlubbers started using ‘fathom’ to mean ‘probe’ or ‘investigate’. That’s because it was all about getting to the bottom of something – just like those sounding lines.

myriad

I once got told off by a client for writing ‘a myriad of XXX’. She said that it should be simply ‘myriad’ whatever it was, because ‘myriad’ is only an adjective (a describing word), not a noun (a person, place or thing). Because I only remember the mean things people say to me, many years later I’ve finally googled this, and it turns out she was WRONG. And in this post I’m going to tell you why. (She’s not a client anymore. Not because of that. Honest.)

Before we get into that, let’s talk about what ‘myriad’ means (although I’m sure you know that already, clever reader). As an adjective – as in ‘he has myriad issues’ – it means ‘innumerable’ i.e. too many to be numbered AKA a buttload. As a noun – as in ‘he has a myriad of issues’ – it means either a buttload again or, specifically 10,000. Why 10,000? Well, in ancient Greek, the word for 10,000 was μυριάς, which was pronounced ‘myrias’. Over time this word evolved and was used more broadly to talk about the concept of a vast or countless number. We then started using it figuratively to describe an indefinitely large quantity or multitude. It was adopted into English as ‘myriad’ in the mid-1500s.

A myriad of bottles

So why was that client so insistent that it was only an adjective? Well, apparently lots of folks were taught this at school. But much like ‘you can’t start a sentence with “and” or “but”’, and ‘you can’t end a sentence with a conjunction’, this is another ‘rule’ that has absolutely no basis in fact. When ‘myriad’ appeared in the English language in the mid-1500s it was as a noun, not an adjective. And it went on to appear as such in works by writers including Milton, Thoreau and Twain – and they did alright with the words. ‘Myriad’ as an adjective didn’t actually appear until 200 years later. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it, client.

Petty, moi?

cretin

Before we get into this, it goes without saying that ‘cretin’ is a horrible word used to describe someone who’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic (which also isn’t a very nice phrase, sorry). So I’m definitely not encouraging you to say it to anyone. But it does have an interesting backstory, which is why it’s the word of the week. Which for this week, I’m renaming the problematic word of the week.

So, what’s that interesting backstory? Well, ‘cretin’ comes from ‘cretinism’, is a form of severe congenital hypothyroidism which means babies with the condition have a deficiency of thyroid hormones when they’re in the womb (thyroid hormones are crucial for proper physical and mental development), often caused by a lack of iodine – in fact, these days the condition is known as congenital iodine deficiency syndrome. Cretinism typically stunts these people’s physical and intellectual growth, as well giving them various other health issues. (That’s not the interesting bit, that’s just depressing.)

Cretinism was particularly prevalent in the French Alps due to several factors, one of which was a lack of iodine-rich foods – and that’s where the name came from. Its origins lie in the French word ‘chrétien’, which actually means ‘Christian’. They called it this as a reminder that, despite their mental and physical issues, people suffering from this condition were still humans, and should be treated with dignity and respect. Aw.

I should probably just end this here, but in reality, that’s only a theory as to the etymology of ‘cretin’. The other, not so kind, ones are:

• it describes these people’s ‘Christ-like’ inability to sin because they can’t recognise the difference between right and wrong

• it’s from ‘creta’, Latin for chalk, because people with the condition were pale

• it’s from ‘cretira’, the Romansh word for ‘creature’ (Romansh is a language spoken in the Swiss Canton of the Grisons (Graubünden))

• it’s from ‘cretine’ which is French for ‘alluvium’ (soil deposited by flowing water). This is a reference the condition's suspected origin in crappy soil.

Whatever the answer, don’t say ‘cretin’, kids. And if someone calls you one, please send them to this post.