Now, I’m a fully paid-up member of the (sadly, still only theoretical) grammar pedantry brigade. But even though it’s technically correct, you’ll never catch me saying ‘the data are compelling’ – even though ‘data’ is (sorry, are) plural, not singular, making this a flagrant case of verb-subject disagreement. So why do I do this? Because (a) I don’t have any data (compelling or otherwise), and (b) I would sound like a weirdo.
Data isn’t alone in being treated as singular when it’s actually plural. Here are six other words that are technically plural, but that we treat as singular. I’ll leave it up to you as to whether you want to use them correctly, or risk sounding like a dickhead.
(Oh, and the singular version of ‘data’ is ‘datum’, just in case you didn’t know that.)
Agenda
If you find yourself in a meeting and someone you dislike suggests adding something to the next agenda, you can tell them that actually it should be added to the next agendum. Just make sure they don’t have the power to sack you.
Graffiti
Yum
That latest Banksy masterpiece that appeared overnight? It’s a graffito.
‘Graffito’ comes from an Italian verb ’graffiare’, which means ‘to scratch’. And that comes from a Latin word ‘graphium’, meaning ‘a stylus’ or ‘a writing tool’.
Panini
Yep, the sandwich, usually made from ciabatta, so posh it requires its own press. The singular version is actually ‘panino’. So you’re technically asking for multiple sandwiches if you request panini. Actually, that’s probably no bad thing.
‘Panino’ is a diminutive of ‘pane’ meaning ‘bread’. A diminutive is a word or form that conveys a smaller, shorter or more affectionate version of something. I definitely feel affectionate about ciabatta-based sandwiches.
Bacteria
This one’s not that obscure, but I think most of us tend to use ‘bacteria’ when we mean one of the buggers, rather than the correct ‘bacterium’. ‘Bacteria’ has (or rather, have) been around since the late 19th century. The word, not the things, I mean – some of the earliest evidence of life on Earth is bacteria. In fact, the earliest known bacteria are believed to date back to about 3.5 to 3.7 billion years ago. So quite a long time then.
A 100-sided Zocchihedron (plural: Zocchihedra) – picture from Wikipedia.
Dice
Like ‘bacteria’/’bacterium’, I think most of us know that die is the singular version of dice, but still choose not to use it. Because I can’t think of anything else to say about that, instead I’m going to tell you about the Zocchihedron, which is a 100-sided dice/die. That means it’s basically a sphere. It was created by a man called Lou Zocchi in 1985, who presumably has much too much time on his hands.
Scampi
If you have one piece of scampi, it’s a scampo. WHAT!
Okay, this one is a bit of a cheat, because scampi is something different in Italy, which is where this distinction comes from. In the UK, scampi is/are breaded or battered pieces of langoustine (also called Dublin Bay prawn or Norway lobster), which are small lobsters found in the waters around the British Isles. Our scampi are usually battered, come with chips and tartar sauce, and go lovely with a lager in the pub. In Italy and other Mediterranean countries, ‘scampi’ is a bit posher. The word refers to the Norway lobster or langoustine itself, which is usually prepared in a garlic butter sauce, and I imagine pairs beautifully with a chilled bottle of Pinot Grigio, rather than a pint of Stella.
Because of this, you probably shouldn’t correct any bar staff if you’re eating battered scampi in a pub somewhere. But feel free to do it if you’re having the posh version. Maybe wait til after you’ve got the food though.